Suicide Prevention Week

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day, which (at least in the US) is encompassed by National Suicide Prevention Week.  It seemed appropriate to take a look at some of the causes and contributing factors in suicide.

In North America one of the leading causes of suicide is mental illness, in particular depression.  The greatest thing we can do to help in this area is raise awareness of mental illness.  This can be done with short articles inserted into the bulletin and on the parish website, by prayer intentions, and in homilies (I'll link to some resources for all of these at the end).  The fact is, mental illness is widely prevalent- just think of anxiety and depression in their different levels and forms alone.  It is so prevalent, and yet there is still a stigma (bias, distrust, stereotyping, fear, embarrassment, anger, and/or avoidance) attached to mental illness which keeps people from talking about what is going on, and from seeking help.  Education can help immeasurably with this, but another thing to keep in mind is the way we speak- our jokes and comments- and the less overt things which can 'stigmatize' and isolate people, such as lower expectations, avoidance, and fear. 

Alcohol and substance abuse are also contributing factors- especially when paired with another mental illness.

Other contributing factors are changes, loss and beginnings.  Changes can include moving, a new school or work, major life events (marriage, purchasing a home, pregnancy), and even seasonal changes.  Loss can be a large contributing factor- loss of a loved one, loss of a job/long unemployment, and recent disability. Beginnings can be a factor as well- the beginning of the school year, beginning of the week etc, as they bring added stress and expectations.
Being aware of these kinds of things can do a lot to help a person who is struggling.  Giving them time and opportunities to talk it out, and probably most importantly not attaching a particular time line to when that person should be 'readjusted' particularly when it comes to grief.

The final factor I'll mention today is isolation.  Whether it is because of stigma (real or perceived) or because of difficult behaviors, symptoms or fear, it is very easy for people who have a mental illness to be either completely silent about what is happening, to avoid reaching out to others, and/or to be avoided.  Feeling alone only compounds feelings of helplessness.  This is where peer relationships can be so healing.  Peers are people who have a mental illness themselves (or have a family member who does), people of a similar age and background, or really anyone with whom the person has formed a supportive relationship.  Parishes are a natural place where people can connect this way, by invitation to regular parish activities, or even by sponsoring a specific opportunity for people who have a mental illness to meet and get together.           

One last thing to remember: behaviors are a language all their own, speaking of what is happening internally even if it cannot be verbalized.  If you notice changes- erratic behavior, wide mood swings, or someone becoming atypically moody and withdrawn, sleeping more, neglecting responsibilities, losing interest in friends and activities they once loved or beginning to neglect their appearance, health, and hygiene- these are things to be concerned about and to ask about.

And of course, in a crisis, the Suicide Prevention Lifeline is also available 24/7: 1.800.273.TALK (8255) or 911.   

Sample Short Bulletin Articles
Sample Prayer Intentions
Homily Preparation Tips

Inclusion in the Liturgy...

"Persons with disabilities... seek to serve the community and to enjoy their full baptismal rights as members of the Church" (PS 33)

A question was brought to my attention the other day, and I realized that this person may not be the only one wondering!  The question was essentially, "Are there guidelines for persons with disabilities participating in liturgical ministries?" 

The short answer is, not specifically.  Participation of persons with special needs in pastoral ministry to the fullest extent possible is the goal and a strong 'ought' given to parishes by the US bishops.  Beyond that, the guidelines are essentially the same for persons with disabilities as they are for any lay person. 

To give a more "official" [read longer] answer , I looked to the US Bishops Guidelines for Celebration of Sacraments with Persons with Disabilities (CS), as well as the Pastoral Statement on Persons with Disabilities (PS).  I also looked into Christifideles Laici (CL), the document by Pope St. John Paul II, which resulted from the synod of Bishops on the vocation and mission of laity in the Church and the world, and even a little canon law.     

I'll begin with some of the Bishop's thoughts on inclusion in liturgical celebrations in general:

"It is essential that all forms of the liturgy be completely accessible to persons with disabilities, since these forms are the essence of the spiritual tie that binds the Christian community together." (CS Introduction)

Keep in mind, the bishops are not talking specifically about liturgical ministries at this point, but about the accessibility of the liturgy itself.  In this regard, the wording as it continues is quite strong:

"To exclude members of the parish from these celebrations of the life of the Church, even by passive omission, is to deny the reality of that community." 

Wow. 
They go on to acknowledge inconsistencies which have arisen, and are still being faced- including the availability of sign language interpreters and the general physical accessibility of buildings.  Much of the basis for these inconsistencies is not what you might think, and the bishops address that too:

"[Inconsistencies] arise from an uncertainty about the appropriate application of Church law towards persons with disabilities. Others are born out of fear or misunderstanding. Still others are the result of a studied and honest acceptance of the realistic limitations of a parish's or diocese's available resources." (CS Preface)

Here the Bishops actually do make a recommendation, that in the case of limited resources, a parish might pair up with a neighboring parish or parishes to provide what is needed.

"parishes should encourage persons with disabilities to participate in all levels of pastoral ministry (e.g., as care ministers, catechists, etc.)." (CS general Principals #5) 

Now we get to it.  Short and sweet.  And here is another:

"Parish sacramental celebrations should be accessible to persons with disabilities and open to their full, active and conscious participation, according to their capacity"
(CS #3) 

The phrase I am looking at in particular here is "according to their capacity."

Now for a little bit of law... before I do though, a caveat: I do not profess to be a canon lawyer, so I will keep my commentary to a minimum and primarily clarifying.  Also, this is not an exhaustive list-  I wanted to point out a few canons that seemed pertinent and apply, I might add, to ALL laity, not just persons with disabilities.

Can. 228 §1. Lay persons who are found suitable are qualified to be admitted by the sacred pastors to those ecclesiastical offices and functions which they are able to exercise according to the precepts of the law.
 [any lay person who is found suitable (proper/appropriate) by the priest is qualified to be admitted to the Church offices and service allowed them by canon law]  

Can. 230 §1. Lay men who possess the age and qualifications established by decree of the conference of bishops can be admitted on a stable basis through the prescribed liturgical rite to the ministries of lector and acolyte.
[Lay men who are old enough, and meet the prescribed qualifications may be admitted to the stable (permanent) ministries of lector and acolyte (service on the altar)]
                       click HERE for more information on the qualifications.
 

§2. Lay persons can fulfill the function of lector in liturgical actions by temporary designation. All lay persons can also perform the functions of commentator or cantor, or other functions, according to the norm of law.
[just want to note a couple of distinctions here: a lay man or woman can act as lector on a temporary basis- it does not have the same binding nature of a permanent ministry]
 

§3. When the need of the Church warrants it and ministers are lacking, lay persons, even if they are not lectors or acolytes, can also supply certain of their duties, namely, to exercise the ministry of the word, to preside over liturgical prayers, to confer baptism, and to distribute Holy Communion, according to the prescripts of the law.        [emphasis added]

Can. 231 §1. Lay persons who permanently or temporarily devote themselves to special service of the Church are obliged to acquire the appropriate formation required to fulfill their function properly and to carry out this function conscientiously, eagerly, and diligently.

[a long way to say, you must receive training for any liturgical service you take part in]

 

Ok, you still with me?  I want to return to Canon 228 for part of our answer.  Read it again, and note who admits a person to a liturgical service.  At the parish level it is the priest.  So, the clearest way to view participation in liturgical ministries is as a service provided by the laity when need warrants it, and at the discretion of the pastor. 

 

That being said, questions and tough calls do arise.  So should something come up, my best advice is to first speak with your pastor, calmly expressing your concern(s) and also listening with openness.  This can be a key moment for building a relationship!  

Welcomed: A Starting Place for Ministry to and with People with Special Needs

"We love the church and genuinely want to serve and be a part of it... We need the church. We need the body of Christ. We need our children to have a place at the table."

These words come from the mother of a boy who has a fairly severe sensory disorder, which makes it, literally, a painful experience to go to church.  Judging by the response her post received, it is clear that they reflect the feelings of many, many others. 

One of the first, and most important things we can do is to let these people and their families know that they are known, welcome in the Church, and that they are not alone.  Just to have the desire to include and serve these families and their loved ones is a message of hope.  These people and their families are called no less to be fully part of the Church and to participate actively in her work.  Once begun, it soon becomes clear that far from being simply an object of service and charity, there is a person who has an immense wealth to share and teach.

“… the bearer of a handicap is not simply an object of the Church’s love and service, but active and responsible participants in the work of evangelization and salvation.”

•Christifideles Laici 54

I am a firm believer that pictures speak 1000 words, and our most recent Popes have witnessed beautifully to this welcome and gift:  

“You are not alone, separated, abandoned or useless. You have been called by Christ and are his living and transparent image”  - World Day for the Sick 2013

 

“spread a culture of encounter, solidarity and hospitality towards persons with disabilities, not just asking for the proper social services but also encouraging their active participation in society.”

- Wednesday Audience June 11, 2013

 

"In the light of Christ's death and resurrection illness no longer appears as an exclusively negative event; rather, it is seen as a "visit by God", an opportunity "to release love, in order to give birth to works of love towards neighbour, in order to transform the whole of human civilization into a civilization of love"                                                               (Apostolic Letter Salvifici doloris, n. 30).

 

 

Pope St. John Paul II was a witness to his own words, being present and visible in his struggles, work and prayer, forgiving his attacker while in recovery from an assassination attempt and finally as his own body was giving way to illness.

Embracing the child within: openness and freedom

Some of the most 'open' people you'll ever meet are children and people with special needs.  There is a sense of transparency and willingness to experience and do and learn that most of us lose, at least to some extent. Why is that? 





Part of the reason is that most of us build up defenses of cynicism and antagonism, to protect those parts of us which we feel to be vulnerable.  For some, unfortunately, this comes from experience.  For others it even might come from education, among other things.

What do we have to fear that we are building defenses against?  The first thing that comes to mind is being hurt.  If you open yourself to someone, there always seems to be the possibility that trust could be betrayed.  Unfortunately that can and has happened all too often.  On a deeper level, if we are open, vulnerable in that way, it means we also have to be open to change- change in our perspective, our thoughts and words and actions- the very way we live.  The word here might be "conversion" or metanoia, which simply means turning (usually from something) toward God.  In relation to God, and opening ourselves to Jesus, maybe we are also as Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI suggests, "afraid He might take something away from us..." (cf. Weddell 157).  This is scary, it is dangerous and feels out of our control.

Yet, there is an amazing freedom in the lack of inhibition you will find so often in children and many people with special needs.  At our dinner dance, all we have to do is turn on the music and there is a full dance floor.  There are the ones who will wear just what they want- and they rock it!You may hear some uncomfortable- and sometimes funny truths and questions, and you WILL know what they are feeling (even if the 'why' takes a little bit of digging to uncover).

 



When you are dependent on others, you are vulnerable in a way many of us don't experience until we are older.  This takes trust.  When a person LIVES in vulnerability that way, I have also noticed a tendency to be more open, understanding and compassionate to others.  When you live your life (at times very acutely) aware of your own weaknesses, that awareness can translate into a quicker understanding of those of others.

I imagine this is at least part of the "child-like" spirit we are meant to embrace.  Sherry Weddell presents some great ways for us all to help foster openness (cf. p. 163):
-  practice non-judgmental truthfulness
-  ask thought-provoking questions
-  help connect the dots:
   in the person's own words as much as possible, help them see God's work in their lives
- ask God for help, or even a sign
- pray for openness
- pray, acknowledging openness   

It's Time For... Another Movie Review! "The Crash Reel"

I was privileged to hear Kevin Pearce, along with two of his brothers, David and Adam, speak at the National Down Syndrome Convention about two weeks ago.  We were 'teased' with a clip from this documentary film, and I finally got around to seeing the rest of it. 

Wow.  This is... not an easy film to watch, and mostly because it is very honest, and very real.  You travel the journey along with Kevin, his family and his friends, and you will witness the sometimes extreme life of 'extreme' athletes.  The documentary does explore the levels to which these sports are going, with increasingly complex tricks, on higher pipes, which mean more air, but also worse falls, as well as the issue of health insurance- which often does not cover what these athletes do.   

At age 18, Kevin Pearce seemingly popped up out of nowhere, and began winning all kinds of competitions, and was for all intents and purposes the only real rival for Shaun White on the snowboard.  Within four years, they were both preparing for the Vancouver Winter Olympics, when came a fateful practice on a pipe in Utah, less than 60 days before.

The accident (yes, it was captured on video)- compared to some others you will see through the course of the documentary actually doesn't LOOK too terrible, though the results were a catastrophic traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Afterward, there is a lot of healing and readjustment that has to take place, not the least of which was six months in the hospital, and this is the part that I found captivating.  In many ways, looking at Kevin and hearing him speak, you would not know the long road he has traveled in recovery.  And he wanted nothing more than to snowboard again.  This despite doctor's dire warnings against hitting his head again, and the worries expressed by his family,and probably no one more than his older brother David, who has Down Syndrome.

Kevin's journey to realizing and accepting his new limitations is a long road, and it took many 'puzzle pieces' coming together, such as trying a small jump on a snowboard and being unable to make it, meeting someone else who had multiple brain injuries, and finally, the death of a pipe skier at the same place he had his accident.  All of these things forced him to look at his new reality, to see what his strengths still are, and work towards a new goal and purpose.  There is a wonderful parallel made at one point, between Kevin's accepting his new reality and limitations, and his brother David finally trying to accept the reality that he has Down Syndrome. 

Ultimately, that purpose materialized in a foundation called "Love Your Brain".  LoveYourBrain is "the message that embodies our positive approach to brain injury prevention and recovery. Everything we do is about connecting, educating and empowering people to promote a brain healthy lifestyle." 

173,000+  people treated for a TBI each year are 19 years old or younger, and there is a growing awareness of concussions among student athletes.  Kevin's story, and that of his family, is a great one to share to talk about this issue, and experience it in a very vivid way. 



 

   

Movie Clips... The New Parable?

Jesus often used parables, stories to give the people who were listening an understandable context for what he was trying to teach.  He used familiar ideas and relationships- farming and fishing, crops, inheritance, family and even an unfriendly relationship with the Samaritans, to share his message.  The interesting thing is, what most often resulted was confusion, unease, and at times anger.  Jesus rarely explained his parables, and often if asked he responded with a question or... another parable.      

I would like to present videos, or movie clips as a way to do the same thing in a catechetical setting.  What are movies but visual stories?  Like Jesus' parables they tell their stories in familiar places and situations and in the midst of familiar relationships.  Movies can take us into history, or even beyond our own world into the most fantastical places.  They have also presented visually some of the best that fiction has to offer.  They are a rich tool particularly for many with special needs in their ability to 'illustrate' ideas and stories.  I used this one to be able to give my kids in sacramental prep a glimpse of the Last Supper, and to make some of the connections to what they see and hear at Mass.

Videos and movie clips can also be very thought provoking, particularly if preceded and/or followed by some prayer time, and a good discussion starter.  Tough issues can be more easily brought up if you are talking about a character.  Here's one to begin a conversation about salvation history, or sin and grace, and...??   
     

Also, do not underestimate the power of Disney- I would even say in particular Pixar.  Their movies have had some beautiful affirmations of community, marriage and family, and individual gifts- just to name a couple of things (come on, you probably teared up during the opening 15 minutes or so of 'UP" too)   

 
I would not suggest showing a 60 or even 30 minute segment of a movie- that does not allow for much if any lesson, or good discussion, and is not a good use of already limited time.  3-5 minutes is a good time to aim for and is usually long enough to get the point across.  

This means that any clip we show must be carefully chosen, with a few questions in mind: 

1.  Is is appropriate for the audience?

2.  Does it clearly illustrate the message or story it is intended?

3. OR, can it be used to spark/fuel discussion on the intended topic? 

A couple things to note: first, be aware that if you show a clip from a movie some may want to go and watch it all.  A great clip from a questionable movie might not be worth it.  So it is always a good idea to be aware of and follow viewer guidelines and policies for parental permission/notification. 

You can find a wealth of videos and clips on YouTube  another good place to look for movie clips is WingClips

What are some of your favorites?? 


   

Curiosity

 

 

 

I had a difficult time expressing 'curiosity', so I decided to look it up.  Curious means "eager to learn or know, inquisitive", also "arousing or exciting speculation, interest, or attention through being inexplicable or highly unusual; odd; strange" (dictionary.com). 

 

We are naturally curious, but our curiosity is sparked by different things.  I am much more eager to learn new skills in baking, or even with electronics or mechanics than in say, plumbing (not to say that is lesser- thank you God for plumbers!)  The same is true of the faith, and there are limitless 'curiosities' in the revelation of God.  It might be Scripture, a particular teaching, the mystery and beauty of the liturgy that draws someone in, or sacramentals like rosaries or statues.  For example, My husband and I took my niece once to Divine Liturgy (Byzantine Rite) and talk about a picture of 'curiosity'- at the age of two, she sat with me the whole time just LOOKING at everything, with wide eyes, and thumb in mouth.  So, I took the opportunity, this time to quietly point out and identify a few things for her.

 

 

Nothing is quite so curious as Jesus.  Historically speaking, he should really not have been more than (perhaps) a blip on the timeline.  Born to a poor family, he worked as a carpenter and taught publicly for just three years before being killed by crucifixion (pretty much the worst form of death in existence) as a criminal, for blasphemy.  Why? He claimed to be the Son of God, the 'King of the Jews'.  And yet, today, Christianity is the world's largest religion, with 2.2 billion followers, 50% of which are Catholic.  In other words, love him or not, Jesus is not someone who can be ignored.  I think Fr. Barron said it well, "He either is who he says... or he's a madman!"  Jesus asked his followers "Who do you say that I am?" Well... that's pretty much the question we want to spark... "who is Jesus"?     

 

We have to be able to answer this question for ourselves first.  Then, as we do with any great friend, we talk about Him- we share his story, and 'our story'.  We post pictures and stories, quotes and good times had with any of our friends and family all the time on Facebook.  Kind of the same idea, if Jesus is a friend, like any relationship, he's going to come up!

Relationship with Jesus changes us, and shifts our perspective in life.  He sheds a light on our very existence, the beautiful and difficult realities we face- if you let him.  Following him shapes our thoughts, words and actions, leads us to prayer (talking to Him), to his Church (his community), and to the sacraments (sharing in his life- God's life).  Now more than perhaps ever, it is a mystery, a "curiosity" to see someone living a relationship with Christ.  There is something attractive, which can't be readily explained or put in "a box," and which raises questions. 

 

It is important to know that while intellectually, specific doctrine may be inaccessible to some, this "living witness" of faith and relationship with Jesus is accessible to anyone. And those with special needs, whose lives in many ways are themselves a 'curiosity,' can provide in a very powerful and real way that same glimpse of Jesus, who as Henri Nouwen reminds us, "revealed Himself in vulnerability" as a helpless baby, and later on the cross.

"We are to live lives of such inexplicable joy, love, faith, and peace (even in trial)

 that all the normal categories by which non-believers try to classify us won't work."